Its been awhile since Ive pressed on the "new post" button. Ill always come back to where I started from. I was looking at my old posts and how they were all about you, im so choked up. I have a lot to tell you. I've grown up, Ive seen alot and felt alot since that last November where we lost it. Where somewhere within you, i lost myself. These days im back at my feet, standing upright facing the world. Just as I should be. I like to wonder where you are and who you are doing these days, though i shouldnt. I wonder sometimes if you ever think of me. I do. Not alot, just enough to miss you sometimes, a little. I feel so weird right now, I cant explain it. maybe its the playlist im playing entitled "Whatever Days". But I cant. Cannot feel this way. I'm with someone. With someone better, my boy means the world to me. but I still insist in thinking of you. why does this feel so wrong?
I;m sorry Patric, I don't know whats been wrong with me lately. I wish I could help myself love you more, treat you like the good boyfriend that you are. Everything is annoying, every person i am with seems to blend into a huge mold of fake and it bothers the hell out of me. I wish that in my mind I could only be loyal to you. I miss you patric, and i especially miss our old relationship, when i felt safe. I feel you getting sick of me. I'm sorry.