Estoy

pagando mis deudas.

Its friday night. I haven't written on here in a couple days, so let me update you. Yesterday was a pretty chaotic day. In the sense that a lot happened. Too much for my liking. Lets not talk about that. Maybe some other time.
Today some peculiar sort of quietness came over me and I just wanted to cry. Im not sure about what though, but that led me to being all overanalytical and inquisitive. Dont you get those? those days where you just feel the need to cry. Later, I was talking to a lady and we started talking about love, and everyone who knows me well enough knows better than to even go there with me. What can i say, im a hopeless romantic. Im just in love with the concept the mere idea of being in love. Well moreover, I was explaining to her how I need to know that two people can be in love I need to know that it is a human emotion, and real. I need to know those type of stories exsist. She just responded by saying how "young" I am.
I'd like to think that has nothing to do with my reasonings.
Im so sad today, right now, this moment, im so sad. Im trying to find out why. Maybe it's because today I saw tragedy in the distance between us, the prickly mistrust we have unfortunately earned. I wish we could start over. I wish I had understood from the beginning that we are each other's hidden weapon and secret wealth. Im overcome in wanting what seems wrong. But this technical escape, blog, has helped me. I started keeping a personal journal again, and when i got home i wrote down a thought id like to share with you.
Again the relationship between adversity and redemption is on the brain and I can’t help but find peace in knowing that no matter what happens further along down the road, we'll ride home together. And in the midst of everything, for once I do not feel forsaken.

Give me some reassurance, become my spine, give me gravity,hold me close and sleep with me when thunderstorms get scary.